Thursday, April 25, 2013

Missing those that mean so much

I am missing those people that mean a lot to me right now. I don't know the exact reason why. There are more details than at this point... typing on my phone... that I care to admit to. The bottom line is... I just like being with those that I like and love. I just can't do it as mush as I wish to and I miss them dearly. Even this that I have seen just a short few days ago.

Good people are hard to find in any capacity!!!

Andrew

And I did write this while sitting at the bar! 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A restart?

Things have been good for me the last 6 or so months. I tend not to sit and write on here when good things are happening. So all those other lags in my blog are actually similar situations. Good times make me not put words on the screen. That isn't surprising considering the reasons for this blog and what drives my fingers to type.

What is happening in my life that is so good? Well I have been able to basically relax the last several months. The small amounts of stress I did allow into my life have all disappeared, replaced by even less stressful things.
My debt is now 100% paid off. Yeah the event in my life that started me on the path of creating this blog is now completely behind me. The emotional and intellectual stuff around that event have long been 'taken care of' and the lessons learned over that time are integrated into me. But, now that the money side of things is all cleared up, I feel like I am finally free of everything that happened, minus the knowledge I gained of course.
My job took a minor turn toward a more simple 8-4 almost responsibility free position getting paid the same money. Even if it is exactly the same position I had before but in a more hospitable environment. I can forget about work when I leave work now and spend more time at home. With my new found time freedom I have taken it to get caught up with TV shows and movies I hadn't finished watching. Started cranking up side business work to make some extra money.
I have also started dating someone. Well started dating isn't the correct description... I have spend EVERY weekend with her since I met her. She quickly became a reason to have time off work and not work 10 hours every day and at a time when I had the ability to take that time. I have fallen for her and she for me. We just seem to click, there is strong feelings between us but they don't seem to cloud judgment like I have experienced in the past with prior 'heat of the moment', as I call them, relationships. Something just seems more complete this time. I am all smiles when I think of her and it is a little unnerving the draw we have to eachother. Almost like fate really existed. I won't go down that idea fork road today...
I am also moving in a few short weeks. Really close to the new office location, actually inside Indy, the city that pretends to be a big city, but still better than out in BFE where I am now. I really do miss Phoenix. It is also cheaper to live in a nicer place in Indy compared to BFE. Rent isn't cheap around here at all anyway. Cost of living in this area is very high considering where you are, what is available, and the surroundings. A step up is still better than nothing.
All of this has also created issues and doubts about some things in life as well. Debt free, decent job, a significant other, and a better place to live. It made me start thinking about what is next... what should I start planning on doing next. Start working on a better job, more money so I can actually save some of it and retire at an age where I can still enjoy a few years of freedom from the daily grind. Should I be content for a while just existing and relax my entire self before plotting the next course!
What shall I choose... Who knows...

As for right this moment, I have a few friends out in the world that I miss, I am going to start reconnecting with my stress free time. I am also going to get back on here more, because just because I am happy doesn't mean I can't still write a decent blog. :)

Andrew

P.S. this is a new blog location, I migrated it to a completely new service to help integrate some of my other social and interwebs things into it. So far I can't complain. :)

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

unedited gibberish

hello, I am actually speaking to you. I'm using a voice to text solution so that I can speak rather than typing to you about the things that I really want to talk about.

I will be editing this a little but please excuse any typos, miss types, or grammar incorrectness that you read.

I do this because. First, I am lazy. second, I am lazier than you. Third, I really at-home lazier then you.

So, this is what I've been thinking. The world isn't quite what it is I expected to be. The world I grew up in in my non-urban setting was not quite what I expected the non-urban world to be when I grew up.I expected to be the same as what it was when I grew up I didn't expect things to change. However things always change.

today the world is very different. Urban and rural lifestyles are exactly the same. To a point... We tend to believe that the digital world has penetrated every extent of human life but it really has not. We that grew up in the rural environment know exactly what I mean. Internet is not available to every person in the United States. You may believe it is what it really is not. We have lived a life of privilege by living with in the regions of the United States that do have what many regions do not. We have lived lives of high-speed and even ultra high-speed access to data that the rest of the world can only dream about or read about. We know information in an instant way, that is all we know. I grew up on a 56 kb per second connection that was really only reached 19.86 KB per second. I know what it is and my life to be slow in gathering data. in today's perspective, that is about .1 G of the new 4G scenarios we hear about.

Aside... 4G from each of the companies is not equal. Every company must be judged based on its own reputation. You can not judge company to company in the wireless world. Every company is a fruit of a different origin. An Apple is not an orange is not a tangerine is not a grape is not a Kiwi is not a mango is not a banana is not up each is not a raspberry…… Etc. etc. etc. you get the idea.aside over…

In today's 4G world we think of everything as fast but not everything in the world fast. Things in a very large portion of the global are very very slow. those who were privileged, and I don't consider myself among you because I didn't get Internet access or a home computer until I was over 15 years (circa 1997) old, were way behind the times of the world beyond our home town in the Midwest... Or so I believed. It turns out the world really is more behind than I thought. the choice of me becoming a technician in the information technology world was not necessarily a bad one. I know more about information technology then the information technology professionals I work for most of the time. And it is because I understand the information technology that I am able to do such a thing better than the average technician in this world. I know I know I know, I have a big head. But it is what happens when you are somewhat decent at the job you do. I don't consider myself the best, I know people who are better than I am. They are just very few and far in between. I would give my life to work for one of them. I did, at one time worked for one of them. I did not at the time realize what it meant. I do now and wish I would have paid more attention back when I was young. I already feel foolish in my mid-young age. I do not need to become old to realize my young foolishness.

Another topic now… The world of beer. I have realized that it isn't as complex as I originally imaged it. When I first got into drinking odd beers, as most people would call it. Or what I would call craft or good beers or being a beer snob. back in those days the world of creating a war brewing beer seems so much of a far-reaching exotic idea. Today I realize that there are thousands of breweries in this United States of ours. That means there are 1000 different ways of brewing beer X the number of breweries X that the number of brewers in the breweries. that means there are millions of different beers world. And I have only experienced a minor fraction of what is really out there. I am still one of the odd people that have experienced. In its most ultimate glory. I don't know how many different types of beers I drank my life to this point, but I am probably on the up words or at least 500 different types styles and creators of beer. I have had at least a dozen or more homebrewed beers, that you will never see or never even hear of. I have drunken bottles of beer that boggle the mind. Beer that is so alcoholic and content that it is banned from some states. Any beer that is banned from a state is on my top priority list. I do make a huge deal of trying different types of beer, and even never drinking the same beer twice in the evening, but in reality, I really do have a few favorites. Most of which you probably have never heard of. Left-handed milk Stout, four peaks brewing company oatmeal Stout, Stone brewing Company arrogant bastard, ale Smith Speedway Stout, great divide yeti Imperial Oak aged Stout, great divide Imperial chocolate Stout, Sierra Nevada imperial helles bock, four peaks kiltlifter IPA (wouldn't you like to see me lift my kilt ;)),

another tangent... Online dating! I've done it, or at least tried it. It is a little-known fact, but not hidden, that I met my first wife online. Not on dating site like we see today. On a good old fashion chat room. In a random connection of minds. I really do wish I would've understood then what I know about the human mind. The human mind is something different than everything else that exists in this world no two of us think or believe the same. We may show that we believe in what others teach us. We may believe that we do believe. But in reality to live as we believe we should takes more then curry time effort or even money. Real life takes everything listed above and add it in and full.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Around me?

It has taken many many years. But, I am finally to the point where I am ready to be not alone anymore. I have actually went on a few dates over the last several months. It is like a whole new world out there. I didn't realize how many little particular minutia level things people are judging you on until you start dealing with it. You don't shave and it could cost you a potential friend... I am glad I don't have that problem... I live in a way that, and I know this could come across badly, I don't care. People get to live the way they wish and I live how I wish. I am not going to shun someone because they don't do everything exactly how I want them to. In my opinion I think we should all leave that to politics and religion, they are more practiced at it. And with that comment...

I will always be me no matter who is around me. I only hope that whoever is around me will push me to be better than I am.

Andrew

Thursday, September 27, 2012

The down time

OK... I took some downtime from writing. Well sort-of... this blog has been dead... but I am writing just not stuff for here. Things I have been writing lately haven't met my requirements for posting... yes this is just a personal blog about whatever but that doesn't mean i don't have standards.. LOL Call it 'that sucks' writers block. 

For the next few weeks I am going to attempt to write something for this blog every day. It is a challenge I have put forward to myself to keep myself sane. I have always stated this is place is my blog-therapy. 

 

We will see...

Andrew

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Taste is all that matters.

New goal... create the perfect pizza burger!!

Reference: http://hitsusa.com/blog/2080/burger-king-pizza-burger/

yeah that one looks good... now I must make one even better than that. Something so endlessly delicious you can't help but have another piece.

MMMMMMMMM! It is a tasty goal.

Andrew

Friday, July 20, 2012

Just some more incoherent ramblings

FUCK everything... ok not everything!!

I have wanted to and attempted to just simply exist for a while. Honestly... it hasn't worked. Simply existing is just too simple a life for someone like myself. Take an example of my life, I have not gained or done anything of note in the last several months. My blog has suffered because I have no interest in typing... unless I have been drinking some beers and then I make no coherent sense. That has also been happening more often since my decision to just live and not worry about everything. I think it is because I don't have the ability to just not worry. I have to have something on my mind and making it churn at all times. Talk about a self stressed out brain.

My job doesn't help... I don't have to really think in my current job. I have become lazy.. more lazy really. In my day to day life, I have always been lazy.. but never in my job. Now I don't even need to put effort in to get the work done so it is starting to become a trap. I can't leave it without something to move to, yet, I can't move up because I have already rocked the boat a few too many times and people just don't like me. They use me but they don't like me.

I guess I just can't help but tell the truth as I see it. Most people can't handle the real truth or they refuse to look at it from a different perspective then a sugar coated rainbows and flowers way. I see good and I see bad in every situation. But I work in a world of logic... I try to make it interact with the real world in a way that makes sense to those that don't understand it. So I have to see more than just what is in front of me and expect anything and everything. Working in this world has given me experience in how to look at things from everywhere all at once. So truth to me is nothing more than the actual facts. When something happens, good or bad, there is some fact that is the root of it. Promises made that were not kept was caused by people leaving a job side with the job unfinished and before they were scheduled too. That is a hard fact that caused me to have to work extra hard to make up for that promise and get things working.

Ok this turned into a bitch session... stopping now. LOL


Andrew