I read a blog today. It was the first personal blog of someone I know. It was a really good blog about relationships 'these days'. I read it and ended up thinking about the way our world is today and how it effects dating in this generation of information. When I meet people within a few hours I could know more about that person then I could learn in several conversations with them. Now this information is different then what is shared in real human interaction and is no substitute for 'getting to know someone', but it does have advantages and disadvantages to the relationship and the act of building that relationship.
I have said it before and I will say it many more times before I die, I am a geek. I know I am and I embrace it. I use technology to constantly stay in touch with the entire world, which includes those I have relationships with. Friends, girlfriends, family, acquaintances, and even my enemies are part of this. This idea that I have access to everything a person shares on the internet leaves me knowing more raw data then others but still leaves me in the dark about the person. I may know where you grew up, where you have lived since, where you work and for how long, who your friends are, where you like to hang out, I may even know your thoughts and feelings from blogs like this one, but in the end I don't know you. This is something I know increases the struggle in todays world of dating and friendship. At the same time, knowing things about someone could help people that aren't as good in social situations. It gives them background to start conversations that they would have never thought of on there own. It also allows people to meet first in this virtual world allowing them to 'break the ice' in a more comfortable environment for them and then move in to real world situations after they are comfortable with that person. Everything effects us in this world of relationships. Information technology is just one more complexity in the relationship game.
This world we live in today is nothing like what our parents lived with and in my case even what my older brothers and sisters lived in. I live a very different type of lifestyle then anyone in my family. My life is integrated with the technology around me. My life doesn't exist without technology and many of my relationships and friendships wouldn't be the same without it. There are limits that we each must place on the technology we use. There are technologies out there that allow us to track those people we know. I broadcast my GPS location everyday all day but others limit this information to only the city they are in. We each have a choice in how we use technology and how we apply it to our lives.
With technology changing at the rate it is now my lifestyle will change drastically in the next few years. New items will be invented and more information will be available to us though faster more direct means. Relationships and friendships will change with them. None of us will know exactly what dating will be like in the days to come. It will take each of us to work though this on our own. Who knows we may need IT guys for relationships in the future!!!
Andrew
Showing posts with label Girlfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girlfriend. Show all posts
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Question Answered...
I believe I have finally answered the question. The answer is YES. I started really thinking about what it would mean to have a girlfriend today. I kind of put the question on the back burner for a few weeks to focus on other ideas and happenings. Nevertheless, today it was brought back to the front of my mind by the events in the last few days. I have had some changes in my thoughts about this.
Every question I was trying to answer to help me figure out the overall question, either are unanswerable life questions that will always exist. Or can't be answered without first getting involved in a relationship with someone first. A simple 'catch 22' or a 'chicken and the egg' situation. That makes all of them mean nothing to the question at hand. Now, Does me saying yes mean that I am now out on the prowl looking for someone to be my girlfriend??? NO!!! There are several reasons for this. First, I have always believed in the idea that those people that end up meaning the most in your life cannot be found. You cannot just go searching for someone and make them mean something to you. It almost has to be a random meeting or something out of the blue. The ultimate idea is you cannot control it. Second, the first person that I will call girlfriend is already in my life... This person was in my life before I wrote the last blog and I almost knew at that point they would be special. I wrote the blog only to work through my thoughts and I almost didn't post it. But, I figured it couldn't hurt letting the world know what i was thinking and to get feedback from my closest friends on these ideas. Now this all brings up one more question... Would my thoughts on this have changed if I never met this person or they never became part of my life?????
This whole thing is another glowing example of how you cannot control when, how, or who you meet on your life. Nor can you control what those people you meet become in your life. Each person that enters your life, even if it is brief, has an effect. These people change you in ways you cannot imagine and can never figure out completely and they are all there for a reason.
Doesn't life seems great when you think you are in control... but you are never completely in control of what happens.That feeling of not being in control is one I have learned to love. When you fist think of it that way it is confusing and scary but it does not take long to realize that your life does not have to be controlled to be great. You just need to learn to ride the waves of life as they come. There will be low points and there will be high points. The low ones in life often cause us as humans to lose the faith that good things do still exist and even with a low point, you can still survive and get back to the top of the next wave. It isn't easy, but what in life is?
May you all of you be at the top of your waves.
Good Night.
Andrew
Every question I was trying to answer to help me figure out the overall question, either are unanswerable life questions that will always exist. Or can't be answered without first getting involved in a relationship with someone first. A simple 'catch 22' or a 'chicken and the egg' situation. That makes all of them mean nothing to the question at hand. Now, Does me saying yes mean that I am now out on the prowl looking for someone to be my girlfriend??? NO!!! There are several reasons for this. First, I have always believed in the idea that those people that end up meaning the most in your life cannot be found. You cannot just go searching for someone and make them mean something to you. It almost has to be a random meeting or something out of the blue. The ultimate idea is you cannot control it. Second, the first person that I will call girlfriend is already in my life... This person was in my life before I wrote the last blog and I almost knew at that point they would be special. I wrote the blog only to work through my thoughts and I almost didn't post it. But, I figured it couldn't hurt letting the world know what i was thinking and to get feedback from my closest friends on these ideas. Now this all brings up one more question... Would my thoughts on this have changed if I never met this person or they never became part of my life?????
This whole thing is another glowing example of how you cannot control when, how, or who you meet on your life. Nor can you control what those people you meet become in your life. Each person that enters your life, even if it is brief, has an effect. These people change you in ways you cannot imagine and can never figure out completely and they are all there for a reason.
Doesn't life seems great when you think you are in control... but you are never completely in control of what happens.That feeling of not being in control is one I have learned to love. When you fist think of it that way it is confusing and scary but it does not take long to realize that your life does not have to be controlled to be great. You just need to learn to ride the waves of life as they come. There will be low points and there will be high points. The low ones in life often cause us as humans to lose the faith that good things do still exist and even with a low point, you can still survive and get back to the top of the next wave. It isn't easy, but what in life is?
May you all of you be at the top of your waves.
Good Night.
Andrew
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Want a Girfriend?? (My history....)
What a question... I see this question all the time it is a standard ad here on FB for us guys. if you are going to ask a question there should be an answer to it right? I can answer this question... Do I want a girlfriend, yes and no. Hmmm...that is an interesting answer... I started dating late in my teens..I was already 16 before i really had a 'date'. Mainly due to where i was raised... the middle of the country miles from anyone my age... and also partly on how i was raised.. the only reason to date was to look for someone to marry.. WOW, Really!!! What an old fashioned idea. LOL. (this is an incite in to how i grew up) I took that literally for a long time, because i wasn't all that social as a child or teen and it took me several years to figure out what the world was really like and i am still working on some of that too. So a quick rundown of my history, I was with my first real girlfriend for 2 years. After that was over I then spent 8 months single. Then my next 'relationship'... it was 6+ years... and most of you know where that ended up so i will not go in to that. So, in reality i am just a freshman in the world of relationships or even dating... as there have only been a handful of those outside those 'relationships'. Many of you reading this may find that very interesting as I have never really shared this info about my life as openly as i have other stuff. But, as many of you have heard... I am an open book to the world, all you need to do is ask.
So, how can i say yes yet also say no? Well my life has changed allot in the last year. I have learned more about life in this time then i ever cared to know before and now i want to know everything i can. That is were my dilemma begins. I have been asking the same questions for months. Am I ready for a relationship? Can i handle everything? Is it possible that I am not mature enough to have a relationship? Is my knowledge about life itself is still to little? Should I wait? Should i just jump in to it and figure it out as i go? It is too early to even be worrying about my future relationships? Am i just being my standard self and thinking way to hard and too much? Even now, I have no idea how to answer any these questions except the last one... that is always answered with a YES!!!! LOL... I have been holding back even starting any type of involvement with anyone because of all of these questions. And even the dates i had been going on have done nothing other than make these questions more forward in my mind. It is also a huge reason why i am like i am.... Some times i blame how i act on my shyness that i have been battling most of my life and that is true to a point. Most of the time it is my thoughts making me second guess everything I do and say. This is more of a problem then shyness. It is hard to shut off your mind and not think. I know my face or something about me gives me away most of the time. because, i get asked allot what i am thinking about. a lot of the time my response is i am trying not too and that is an honest complete truth. I know what my thoughts do to me and i do my best to keep them at bay. I am not successful that often.
So do i want a girlfriend? yes and no. Do I want to have a date? yes and no. I have questions that raise even more questions that are for and against both of those ideas and i can't answer any of them. Isn't that a beauty of life... the crazy and far out there thinking that we have the ability to do to create questions we can't even answer. This thinking is fun and scary all at the same time. We as people can't standardly understand these questions we create about life... if we could we wouldn't have much to figure out while we live and life itself would just be boring. This hasn't gotten me any closer to any type of real answer to the question posed but it is one good set of thoughts... LOL
This has been a blog of exposure for me... I am letting out details about myself that most people never get close enough to either figure out or ask about. So why write this?? Because, there are people in this world I think should have this info yet I can't bring myself to just tell them... that is a discussion for a later blog. Have 'fun' with the questions you have created for yourself... I know i will be having 'fun' with these questions and others for a long time to come.
Andrew
So, how can i say yes yet also say no? Well my life has changed allot in the last year. I have learned more about life in this time then i ever cared to know before and now i want to know everything i can. That is were my dilemma begins. I have been asking the same questions for months. Am I ready for a relationship? Can i handle everything? Is it possible that I am not mature enough to have a relationship? Is my knowledge about life itself is still to little? Should I wait? Should i just jump in to it and figure it out as i go? It is too early to even be worrying about my future relationships? Am i just being my standard self and thinking way to hard and too much? Even now, I have no idea how to answer any these questions except the last one... that is always answered with a YES!!!! LOL... I have been holding back even starting any type of involvement with anyone because of all of these questions. And even the dates i had been going on have done nothing other than make these questions more forward in my mind. It is also a huge reason why i am like i am.... Some times i blame how i act on my shyness that i have been battling most of my life and that is true to a point. Most of the time it is my thoughts making me second guess everything I do and say. This is more of a problem then shyness. It is hard to shut off your mind and not think. I know my face or something about me gives me away most of the time. because, i get asked allot what i am thinking about. a lot of the time my response is i am trying not too and that is an honest complete truth. I know what my thoughts do to me and i do my best to keep them at bay. I am not successful that often.
So do i want a girlfriend? yes and no. Do I want to have a date? yes and no. I have questions that raise even more questions that are for and against both of those ideas and i can't answer any of them. Isn't that a beauty of life... the crazy and far out there thinking that we have the ability to do to create questions we can't even answer. This thinking is fun and scary all at the same time. We as people can't standardly understand these questions we create about life... if we could we wouldn't have much to figure out while we live and life itself would just be boring. This hasn't gotten me any closer to any type of real answer to the question posed but it is one good set of thoughts... LOL
This has been a blog of exposure for me... I am letting out details about myself that most people never get close enough to either figure out or ask about. So why write this?? Because, there are people in this world I think should have this info yet I can't bring myself to just tell them... that is a discussion for a later blog. Have 'fun' with the questions you have created for yourself... I know i will be having 'fun' with these questions and others for a long time to come.
Andrew
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