Parents... Who Knew?

This week started different then any other week prior in my life. Last Saturday my parents flew in to Arizona to visit me for the first time. I was honestly scared what they would think about how I have developed my life since I moved away and with all that has happened to me in the last years. The bad and the good times that shaped who I am today has made me very different then the 19yo that moved away from home. It took me several years to break the habits that were part of my life back then. Back when life seemed so much simpler then it does now. The assumptions I made based on what experiences in my life and all that I had seen back then don't seem like they have a place in my life now. If you can imagine, I once was a young, cocky, know-it-all teenager. I know, it is hard to believe, lol. I didn't think back at that time that anything could ever hurt me. Nothing could turn my life upside down, make me rethink everything I knew about what life really is about. I was wrong, not only about getting turned upside down, but also nearly every assumption I took from growing up in the simple hard work orientated life. I found out that life is so much more ALIVE then what I knew. It is hard to break from how we grew up and the life that we saw for all those years. I still struggle with what I think of as the simple interactions with the world and people. I have spent what seems like a long time learning how to deal with everything the world throws at me.

I have spent a lot of time talking with my parents this week. Mainly about things I have like the MINI, my job, and just random stuff about how I live here. Through it all, I remembered that I really miss my family. It is hard to describe exactly how I miss them. Seeing them is only a very very small part of it. How then do I miss them? I don't get to talk with my dad that much so I miss my dads perspective on the world. The sharing of his knowledge and experiences that formed the base to everything I understand today. Yesterday, the two of us stared at a very old airplane engine for a long while. We discussed and deducted exactly how it worked pointed out all the different parts we knew and figured out what the other parts we didn't know. We even researched things today that we couldn't explain when we were standing there. I listened to him as he explained the components of a jet engine as we looked at one sitting on a rack. I miss the even tone and laid back nature of my dad. My mom and I talk all the time. But I still miss my moms understanding about everything. She listens and adds comments and questions me on ideas like no one else I know. We sat and talked about music, cooking, home decor, MINIs, wardrobes, and everything about anything that came up. I bounce ideas off my mom all the time, even things I know she doesn't understand. I think it is something about getting some type of approval from her. I don't know how and it surprises me to see many of the qualities in them that I strive for in my life today. I thought I was trying to make myself different then all of what I grew up with. I guess not!!

When push comes to shove... I can't change where I came from. I hope to embrace what I have experienced this week with my parents. Maybe this time will help me see more clearly in to my future path. My perspective of the world has been changed by this visit from my past. I am now rethinking my old ideas of the world with my new experiences guiding me. I can't wait to see what comes from all of this rehashing....

Note to my parents: I don't know if you will ever read this blog... even if I send you a link... but you are an inspiration in my life I had forgotten. The past I thought I left behind and replaced with all the new ideas I found in my own experiences. It just surprised me how much I still rely on all I learned from you and how much you still have too teach me. I love you both.


Andrew

Smiles

This morning a friend IM'd me that I hadn't talked with in a long time. The chat was short as they didn't have a lot of time and I was at work dealing with one the endless calls that we got today. It hadn't been the best day so far, I wasn't feeling well and we were fairly busy in the office. I actually started smiling after our conversation and continued for the rest of the day. The person I was talking with has had a big impact on my life even though they aren't around to talk with as much. People like that create smiles in this world even on the darkest of days. I forget sometime just how many friends have had that kind of effect on me. I hope that someday I can repay all that these friends have given me.

The world right now is in a dark time. Doomsday vibes are everywhere you look and in almost every conversation. We all know someone that has lost a job, received pay cuts, or is losing their home. With times so bad, having a good reason to smile is one of the greatest gifts. As someone that has been through some very tough times, I make it a top priority of mine to remain positive. It is surprising that anyone can remain that way when facing the seemingly endless road of financial problems, personal strains, and work stress existing today. But, once you teach yourself to focus on the options you have that can make things better and not the causes of your problems, keeping yourself from being continually down is easy. It took me nearly 6 months to pull myself out of the endless loop of a downward spiral like this. When you finally start looking up from these depths, you realize how much there is to look forward to. We will all make it though these hard times. Just have a little faith in yourself and never count your friends out. They will be there when you need them.

In the end it really is our friends and family that pull us through. It is the truly great friends that are always there for you. The ones that let us cry on their shoulders, the ones that just sit and listen, the ones that never shut up, and the ones that always make you smile. Keep them all close to you in these times of peril, they may need you more then they know. Just as I discovered today. My smile gave me a boost that carried me through the day. It allowed me to think more clearly and complete my work faster. I was even made it possible for me take the time to write this blog right when I got home.

I believe it is a great compliment to have someones smile attributed to myself and I know my friend will feel the same. Dark times call for us to stand up and spread all the smiles we can to those that need it. Even if they don't know they do. So give someone a smile, it could change their day and yours.


Andrew