Another great weekend out on the town passes... WOW I am tired, yet can't seem to sleep today. I was out with friends on Friday night, Saturday night, and most of the day on Sunday. I am going to have to spend next weekend at home getting things done here.
Well I haven't blogged in a while. Lots to catch everyone up on. My MINI is still not back in my garage... Don't really know when it is going to be done. I am going to make sure I stop by there tomorrow to check on it. I am also going to go get the paperwork done for my passport tomorrow. Yeah a passport... I am looking for some more travel in my future. My company is really getting a lot of international business and they need all the help over there they can get. I am hoping for a short trip to Germany.
So this whole me not sleeping tonight thing it weird. I have had some very sleepless nights in the last several months for obvious reasons. But tonight is different. I just can't shut my brain off. I have been stuck in a thinking mode since about 6PM; it is 3:45AM now!!! There is just a lot to ponder today. Most of which is not for this or any other blog. Well most of what I am pondering is good stuff. Stuff about how I am going to proceed with my life, where I am going to take my daily routine, and how I am going to grow my group of friends. That last one is the one I am having the most difficult time with.
Here is why... I am not a single person, never really was single in my adult life nor most of my late teen life. I have never lived alone until now. I have to figure all of this being single and living alone stuff out. Right now I feel like I am floating down the river without a paddle. I have no frame of reference when it comes to living life in this way. So, I know I am going to be making a lot of mistakes. Making mistakes with life is how you learn. But at the same time knowing I am going to make mistakes also keeps me from doing things I really want to because I don't want a mistake to cause problems that makes life even harder to deal with for others as well as myself. Well I have never been the kind of person that could say just screw the consequences and just do what I want. I can't do that, I have too much respect for everyone around me to create that kind of turmoil. I am working to get over this mental block and take some risks with my life... by doing that I might just learn how to live...
Well I am going to get back to surfing the web and watching videos... I still have a season of Transformers the original to watch... and now I have the new Transformers Animated and several other shows to catch up on.
You all have a good night sleeping.
Andrew
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Another MINI update
Well I have another update. I will have my MINI back on the 23rd... If all the parts and everything arive on time.
I was able to see it the other day. It was cool to see the MINI all tore down and everything all laying on racks. Some for repair and some for replacement. I guess I hit the something with the AC unit and they are having to replace everything. Well I guess I will have a good suspention and new AC work.
I am confused about one thing.. They were going to straighten the frame. If they can't straighten it to specs then will they total the MINI? that is a question I can't answer.
Good night all
Andrew
I was able to see it the other day. It was cool to see the MINI all tore down and everything all laying on racks. Some for repair and some for replacement. I guess I hit the something with the AC unit and they are having to replace everything. Well I guess I will have a good suspention and new AC work.
I am confused about one thing.. They were going to straighten the frame. If they can't straighten it to specs then will they total the MINI? that is a question I can't answer.
Good night all
Andrew
Monday, June 9, 2008
MINI update and my day
So the MINI will most likely not going to be totaled. The initial parts estimate. 6800-7000. I fully expect that it will go higher as they dig in to the damage more. Now I am hoping that they can fix it up right. I will not take anything less than perfect. It should look and drive better then the day I hit the curb. I mean I am getting an entirely new suspension on the one side and depending on how the other side looks... maybe that one too. So if it doesn't drive better then there is a problem.
So life throws curve balls at you all the time. This one is costly but it shouldn't be to bad. I have good insurance and I shouldn't even have my policy premiums go up any. I think I will get away will very little out of pocket.
Well all I did today is work. As usual it was a shitty day at work. We are in this new office building that sucks, No high speed internet, no phones, no fax. It is like working in a sweet shop without any cloth to make cloths with. There isn't a point. We are stuck in this new office for 4 weeks because our office is under construction.... We will see if I have something better than a cube when I get back... I doubt it.
Good night all. I hope you all had a great day.
Andrew
So life throws curve balls at you all the time. This one is costly but it shouldn't be to bad. I have good insurance and I shouldn't even have my policy premiums go up any. I think I will get away will very little out of pocket.
Well all I did today is work. As usual it was a shitty day at work. We are in this new office building that sucks, No high speed internet, no phones, no fax. It is like working in a sweet shop without any cloth to make cloths with. There isn't a point. We are stuck in this new office for 4 weeks because our office is under construction.... We will see if I have something better than a cube when I get back... I doubt it.
Good night all. I hope you all had a great day.
Andrew
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Good Bye Post
I am going to use this post to say good bye to a coworker and a friend. I didn't know you well nor did I know you long but you are still a friend. I will try and keep in touch though the business of life.
So to my friend. Have a safe journey to your destination. May the journey of life take you to great places and show you great things. Have fun with it.
Andrew
So to my friend. Have a safe journey to your destination. May the journey of life take you to great places and show you great things. Have fun with it.
Andrew
Thursday, June 5, 2008
What a night!!!
Link to pic won't work....so you will just have to find it in my myspace pic section.
That says it all. I hit a curb in my MINI...I was heading our Brown Rd and went around the roundabouts, on the second one I moved to the inside lane and I just started sliding, went right in to the curb. I was going about 35-40. I guess I really needed new tires.
I was just trying taking a nice long drive out in to the mountains to be alone and away from everything for a while. I didn't even make it 3 miles from the house. WOW.
At least I am ok. The MINI is fixable and it shouldn't take too long no body damage. Well I guess it is to the rental car place tomorrow and get everything worked out with the insurance.
Andrew
That says it all. I hit a curb in my MINI...I was heading our Brown Rd and went around the roundabouts, on the second one I moved to the inside lane and I just started sliding, went right in to the curb. I was going about 35-40. I guess I really needed new tires.
I was just trying taking a nice long drive out in to the mountains to be alone and away from everything for a while. I didn't even make it 3 miles from the house. WOW.
At least I am ok. The MINI is fixable and it shouldn't take too long no body damage. Well I guess it is to the rental car place tomorrow and get everything worked out with the insurance.
Andrew
Another day passes
One more day in the saga of life passes. I was home sick from work today and I will be working from home tomorrow. They started construction on a new room in our office. The noise may allow me to work from home for the next month. They are looking at a business suite to move us to for a short time but we will still be without all of our resources that the full office has and the temp location is a longer drive from the house. I should ask for mileage for the extra distance.
One of these days I will get back to a normal sleeping pattern. Right now I can't sleep. I have too many thoughts in my head and they are keeping me awake. I just don't have the want to take meds to go to sleep today. I can't stand having to rely on a pill to make sure I sleep.
Well I have found several apartments that I wouldn't mind moving in to. That is a good step forward in moving on with life AM. (After Marriage) That is a good way of looking at it. To know that life goes on is a huge step after you have decided to divorce. To know that life is worth living is another step. I haven't reached that one yet. I am still too busy trying to find out how to survive. At this point, that is correct, I don't know if life after losing person you were planning the rest of your life with is really worth living alone. Life has dealt me a shitty hand at this time. I am doing my best with it. I will try and not let my feelings bring me down.
Most days I just miss her. I spend a few hours every day all by myself just thinking about why. I love her more now than I can ever remember in the past. I think it is because of what she is doing. She is taking the initiative and trying to find her own way through life. That is something that always attracted me to her, her strength to be herself. You know it is hard to be yourself while you are with someone else all the time. How do you keep yourself from losing yourself in a relationship? That is a question I can't answer. I lost myself in the relationship and that caused a ripple effect that caused her to lose herself too. Now this isn't the only reason we are not together anymore. It is just one.
You know the phrase; you don't know what you got until is gone. That isn't always true: but, most of the time you realize a lot more about what you had after it is gone.
Well I think I am going to go take one of my pills and go to sleep now. It is too early in the morning to keep typing like this.
Andrew
One of these days I will get back to a normal sleeping pattern. Right now I can't sleep. I have too many thoughts in my head and they are keeping me awake. I just don't have the want to take meds to go to sleep today. I can't stand having to rely on a pill to make sure I sleep.
Well I have found several apartments that I wouldn't mind moving in to. That is a good step forward in moving on with life AM. (After Marriage) That is a good way of looking at it. To know that life goes on is a huge step after you have decided to divorce. To know that life is worth living is another step. I haven't reached that one yet. I am still too busy trying to find out how to survive. At this point, that is correct, I don't know if life after losing person you were planning the rest of your life with is really worth living alone. Life has dealt me a shitty hand at this time. I am doing my best with it. I will try and not let my feelings bring me down.
Most days I just miss her. I spend a few hours every day all by myself just thinking about why. I love her more now than I can ever remember in the past. I think it is because of what she is doing. She is taking the initiative and trying to find her own way through life. That is something that always attracted me to her, her strength to be herself. You know it is hard to be yourself while you are with someone else all the time. How do you keep yourself from losing yourself in a relationship? That is a question I can't answer. I lost myself in the relationship and that caused a ripple effect that caused her to lose herself too. Now this isn't the only reason we are not together anymore. It is just one.
You know the phrase; you don't know what you got until is gone. That isn't always true: but, most of the time you realize a lot more about what you had after it is gone.
Well I think I am going to go take one of my pills and go to sleep now. It is too early in the morning to keep typing like this.
Andrew
Monday, June 2, 2008
Well I have slept a few times
Ok... so Saturday didn't go bad. It wasn't bad staying in the other room while she was here. I still felt like I should have gone with her after she left. But I have always felt that way every time she would leave the house without me. I will never really be over her. I still love her very much.
Back to my life only for a bit. I am starting to make real progress on packing up the house. I also found and purchased a bed this weekend. I started looking for an apartment. I am looking kind of early but you can never be too prepared for what is coming. I seven bought a few things I know I will be without after all of this is over. No need to do without stuff when you can take care of it before hand.
So, life after marriage is looking better to me now than ever before. I will be able to start over and do things just for me for a while. I am looking forward to having time to myself. I do miss the companionship and having that person there to talk to everyday about nothing important. You know those are the best conversations... the ones where you just talk about everything yet really nothing all at the same time. That is when you really get to know people and how they think. Now, don't get me wrong, conversations about the important things are great as well and have to happen otherwise you end up without anyone to talk to. That is the key to have a good interaction with people... communication.
I am trying to learn to communicate better. I am horrible at it now. Example, I IMed someone the comment I used earlier "conversations about nothing important are the best and that I hadn't had one of those in a while". So there response was that I was rude. Now, I understand it was just taken in a sarcastic way. But I don't know how to put it differently to make it make more sense. I don't think it is possible. Just like I don't think, in the context I wrote the same thing earlier, it is going to be taken that way again. I guess I haven't learned enough about the people I must communicate with to know how they will take what I say. I have gotten the comment that I say things without thinking of how they are going make others feel. I guess I assumed that they knew me well enough to know that what I said wasn't meant to hurt them.
I don't think enough about what I am going to say. I take forever to write these blogs because I pick every word carefully. I try not to mention names or specifics about things that might hurt the people in the blog. I think of those who will be reading this as I write. I think of how they will read it and what they might think. No one can predict everything someone else will think. That is what makes us ourselves, makes us individuals. But, when I talk that time buffer isn't there and things just come out without thinking of those around you. It is a filter that I don't have.
Well I am going to quit for now. My evening is just beginning and I have to work the early shift tomorrow. I get to play golf tomorrow afternoon!!!
Good night.
Andrew
Back to my life only for a bit. I am starting to make real progress on packing up the house. I also found and purchased a bed this weekend. I started looking for an apartment. I am looking kind of early but you can never be too prepared for what is coming. I seven bought a few things I know I will be without after all of this is over. No need to do without stuff when you can take care of it before hand.
So, life after marriage is looking better to me now than ever before. I will be able to start over and do things just for me for a while. I am looking forward to having time to myself. I do miss the companionship and having that person there to talk to everyday about nothing important. You know those are the best conversations... the ones where you just talk about everything yet really nothing all at the same time. That is when you really get to know people and how they think. Now, don't get me wrong, conversations about the important things are great as well and have to happen otherwise you end up without anyone to talk to. That is the key to have a good interaction with people... communication.
I am trying to learn to communicate better. I am horrible at it now. Example, I IMed someone the comment I used earlier "conversations about nothing important are the best and that I hadn't had one of those in a while". So there response was that I was rude. Now, I understand it was just taken in a sarcastic way. But I don't know how to put it differently to make it make more sense. I don't think it is possible. Just like I don't think, in the context I wrote the same thing earlier, it is going to be taken that way again. I guess I haven't learned enough about the people I must communicate with to know how they will take what I say. I have gotten the comment that I say things without thinking of how they are going make others feel. I guess I assumed that they knew me well enough to know that what I said wasn't meant to hurt them.
I don't think enough about what I am going to say. I take forever to write these blogs because I pick every word carefully. I try not to mention names or specifics about things that might hurt the people in the blog. I think of those who will be reading this as I write. I think of how they will read it and what they might think. No one can predict everything someone else will think. That is what makes us ourselves, makes us individuals. But, when I talk that time buffer isn't there and things just come out without thinking of those around you. It is a filter that I don't have.
Well I am going to quit for now. My evening is just beginning and I have to work the early shift tomorrow. I get to play golf tomorrow afternoon!!!
Good night.
Andrew
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